Have you ever felt frustrated trying to get the one you want to want you back? Have you ever felt like the cause was hopeless and there's just nothing you can do to win their heart?
Such frustrations are common. All human beings are subject to them. While there is no way to completely avoid them, there is a way to overcome them and find success. The way requires a basic understanding of those principles that motivate the human heart, followed by a patient application of those principles.
If you will systematically apply those principles in a well thought out strategy, you will ultimately reap the rewards of your efforts.
Applying the principles is up to you, but today I wanted to share with you a few truths relating to love and romance:
• “In Love" is a form of dependency. Therefore, if you want someone to be in love with you, you will have to make up your mind to meet their emotional needs so that they can grow dependent upon you. This includes hundreds of hours of listening to them while they talk while you, for the most part, are just attentively silent.
• People are attracted to independence and repulsed by those who seem to cling. Therefore, to avoid scaring off a potential love you must throw in a lot of apparent aloofness while trying to win them. If you think this may confuse the one you want about your real intentions, you're right. Sorry, but that's just the way it needs to be in the early stages of romance.
• People want what they can't have. Therefore, you have to hold back form giving yourself completely to the one you want at the first indications they're starting to become attracted to you. Instead of giving the dog the whole steak at once, feed it to him/her one bite at a time, over an extended period of time.
I'm speaking here of deeply shared feelings and your valuable time. Be careful with how much time and feeling you give to the one you want. As to sexual involvement, that should be withheld until after the marriage vows, or you'll reduce their incentive to get there. Why buy the cow when the milk is free?
• People’s conscious decisions are subconsciously motivated. Therefore, don't be too concerned by what the one you want says they think they want, or acts like they think they want. You should act on principle and eventually they'll realize that what they really want is you.
• People are most drawn to a person with a positive and confident self-image. Therefore, resist the temptation to spill your feelings of self-doubt. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than somebody who insists on bursting your bubble and destroying the image they want to have of you.
• People’s attitudes are really a reflection of what you think of them. Therefore, while not wearing your heart on your sleeve, you must still prove though your actions that your friendship to them is a committed one. This takes time.
• The longer a relationship grows, the stronger it becomes. Therefore, if you mess up along the way, take comfort in the fact that tomorrow is another day, and the fact that you prove you have lasted and learned from yesterday's hardships, will in itself increase their feelings of commitment to you in the long run.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Is it possible to love two people at once
All of us have grown up with our own ideas about love, whatever they may be. While the word 'love' may mean passion and romance for you, it could mean something else (trust, dependability, compromise, sacrifice) for me entirely. Individual differences notwithstanding, it is quite fair to say that most of us have grown up with the idea that love has to be confined to a single person and that we can only truly love one person at a time. Right? Well... I beg to differ.
While the idea of one true love is what most of us grew up with, now I feel that this idea is one of the many myths of life. The truth, as I see it, is that it is entirely possible for someone to love two people at the same time, and love them with the same intensity!
So why won't we allow ourselves to admit that?
How about this for an answer - because the mere possibility that our love can encompass more than one person at the same time is just too scary to even think of, let alone do it. Imagine the confusion that would cause, not just in your head but also in your life. And because you won't be able to possibly live in such a confusing state of mind, you simply disallow yourself to even entertain the idea of loving two people at once!
But, don't you think your heart has a lot more capacity to love others than you actually give it credit for? Or is it that we don't want to recognize our hearts' ability for affection, simply because it would require a very brave person to do so?
Some of us would say, "Love is unique and one-of-a-kind. So, if anyone thinks they love two people at once, then that person is very confused and doesn't really love either of those people."
But then how do you explain that all of us already love so many people at once. For example, you love your spouse or partner, while at the same time you really love your children, your parents, your siblings. Agreed that your love for all the various people in your life is of a different kind, and that you love each person for their special qualities. But going by that same logic, is it not possible to romantically love two people at the same time if both those people offer you completely different things?
If any of you have watched Brooke Logan (from the serial The Bold and The Beautiful) constantly be tormented by her love for two special men in her life, namely Ridge and Nick, then you'd know what I was referring to. And for those of you who don't, this is how it goes.
Brooke believes that Ridge is her destiny and has been in love with him for most of her adult life. She loves him because he's extremely passionate, romantic, soulful, and because he makes her heart sing like no one else. Then there's Nick, someone Brooke loves because of his innate loyalty, because he is as dependable as a rock, totally smitten with Brooke, and because he brings out all that is good in her. She loves and wants both these men!
Impossible? I wouldn't say so.
But extremely impractical? Of course!
This is where our idea about being able to love only one person at a time raises its head, which forces us to look into our hearts and choose the 'one true love' of our lives so that we can end the misery!
Being with two people at the same time...
While I do believe that loving two people at once is possible, I also believe that being with both of them is not. Recognizing that you have romantic feelings for two people is one thing, but acting on those feelings is quite another. So what do you do in such a situation? Well... you make your choices and be happy with them.
What if you realize that you're still in love with someone after you've made your choice and are committed to another? For instance, you're happily married to your spouse and really love him / her but seeing your old boyfriend / girlfriend from college after all those years still made your heart skip!
n that case, the first thing you need to do is not be scandalized by your own reaction. No, you're not a 'bad' person for feeling what you feel, nor is your marriage a sham. Your reaction just suggests that you still hold a very special place in your heart for someone you loved at one time in life, and will probably do so forever. But you've now moved on and love your spouse and life's great!
So really, being in love with two people at once is not where the problem lies. The sixty-four million dollar question is, "Can you be happy with simply recognizing that your love can extend to two people at the same time, or do you feel compelled to act on that love and get involved with both!"
While the idea of one true love is what most of us grew up with, now I feel that this idea is one of the many myths of life. The truth, as I see it, is that it is entirely possible for someone to love two people at the same time, and love them with the same intensity!
So why won't we allow ourselves to admit that?
How about this for an answer - because the mere possibility that our love can encompass more than one person at the same time is just too scary to even think of, let alone do it. Imagine the confusion that would cause, not just in your head but also in your life. And because you won't be able to possibly live in such a confusing state of mind, you simply disallow yourself to even entertain the idea of loving two people at once!
But, don't you think your heart has a lot more capacity to love others than you actually give it credit for? Or is it that we don't want to recognize our hearts' ability for affection, simply because it would require a very brave person to do so?
Some of us would say, "Love is unique and one-of-a-kind. So, if anyone thinks they love two people at once, then that person is very confused and doesn't really love either of those people."
But then how do you explain that all of us already love so many people at once. For example, you love your spouse or partner, while at the same time you really love your children, your parents, your siblings. Agreed that your love for all the various people in your life is of a different kind, and that you love each person for their special qualities. But going by that same logic, is it not possible to romantically love two people at the same time if both those people offer you completely different things?
If any of you have watched Brooke Logan (from the serial The Bold and The Beautiful) constantly be tormented by her love for two special men in her life, namely Ridge and Nick, then you'd know what I was referring to. And for those of you who don't, this is how it goes.
Brooke believes that Ridge is her destiny and has been in love with him for most of her adult life. She loves him because he's extremely passionate, romantic, soulful, and because he makes her heart sing like no one else. Then there's Nick, someone Brooke loves because of his innate loyalty, because he is as dependable as a rock, totally smitten with Brooke, and because he brings out all that is good in her. She loves and wants both these men!
Impossible? I wouldn't say so.
But extremely impractical? Of course!
This is where our idea about being able to love only one person at a time raises its head, which forces us to look into our hearts and choose the 'one true love' of our lives so that we can end the misery!
Being with two people at the same time...
While I do believe that loving two people at once is possible, I also believe that being with both of them is not. Recognizing that you have romantic feelings for two people is one thing, but acting on those feelings is quite another. So what do you do in such a situation? Well... you make your choices and be happy with them.
What if you realize that you're still in love with someone after you've made your choice and are committed to another? For instance, you're happily married to your spouse and really love him / her but seeing your old boyfriend / girlfriend from college after all those years still made your heart skip!
n that case, the first thing you need to do is not be scandalized by your own reaction. No, you're not a 'bad' person for feeling what you feel, nor is your marriage a sham. Your reaction just suggests that you still hold a very special place in your heart for someone you loved at one time in life, and will probably do so forever. But you've now moved on and love your spouse and life's great!
So really, being in love with two people at once is not where the problem lies. The sixty-four million dollar question is, "Can you be happy with simply recognizing that your love can extend to two people at the same time, or do you feel compelled to act on that love and get involved with both!"
simple things you can do to win the woman of your choice
However, for men looking to woo their wives, Here are some real ways to do just that without breaking the bank for an amazing gift or Tiffany product! The regular wives anywhere will happily agree they crave the essential courtship flavor recreated through small, thoughtful ways.
If yours was a love marriage, re-create the magic of your first date if that went well or the best elements from it. You can even organize a date around the funny, awkward moments you can now look back and laugh at e.g. popcorn spills at the multiplex, goofy friends at the next café booth, a charms-on-a-chain bracelet to signify she's your “angel “ or heartsease!
Those in an arranged marriage can experience the headiness of setting up a faux blind date. Pick a location you know she likes (ask her best friend or listen when she reminisces while looking at old photos) and arrange to meet there. Try new topics of conversation, swap notes of your personal 20 favorites (songs, books, films, friends, philosophy, childhood memory, holiday spot, gift received etc.) or take the easy option of filling up Slam Books; relive being teens again, especially if you didn't do this at school!
End the day by sipping a sundowner and filing away the little things you didn't know or couldn't remember about each other, which the day's shared activities made you aware of, in your mind and heart!
Ignite the spark of the early days of your marriage once again by shooing the kids away to the best possible babysitting options you have and choose to do anti-aging activities together that will get the blood pumping. Try signing up for a couple's membership at the gym so you shape up and get close too. Or use those tennis/swimming/back to college lessons to bond together outside the bedroom so you become friends and lovers.
Alternately, plan a pleasure trip over the weekend after organizing suitable caregivers for the kids (Grandparents and family friends are better bets than the most well-meaning bachelor buddies coz, um...they'd know that Pringles and Pizzas with tri-colored veggie toppings aren't really balanced meals for one!) that is exotic enough to qualify as a snuggle spot!
Use the trip as a second honeymoon opportunity - use the hotel's spa facilities, splurge a little on the Jacuzzi-attached room or order breakfast in bed (if possible, sneak the room attendant a musical card, Godiva chocolates and any trinket you think would tickle her naughty bone, asking him to bring these up with the breakfast tray) to woo her once again!
Give your marriage a makeover and make it the stuff fairytales are made of or the kind contained in those books she can't seem to get her nose out of!
Do things you haven't ever done: Dial the local radio station or TV music channel to dedicate a song to your wife on a station she listens to or tune that guitar and play her a song that depicts her best qualities or how you feel about her. Alternately, rev up that bike and go for a long ride or spray her a heart on your bathroom mirror with shaving foam!
Bring her a freebie - recommended for all those hubbies whose wives are more impressed when they actually shop sensibly for them instead of just buying the first likely matching product on the given list so they can run right back for that crucial couch-potato act of theirs!
Go places men don't usually go with their wives (though we really can't guarantee she'd appreciate the pole-dancer's finer assets or share your Bud's enthusiasm for trying to out-do your beer 'bottoms up' level during Happy Hours at your favorite pub!) and let her feel she's fun enough to be a part of your secret fantasy life: alcoholic fizz, fatty snacks and loud music with meaningless conversation!
Reduce the shock value of the above suggestion by introducing an element of class - take wifey to the new Lounge Bar in town!
Want another alternative? Check out the child-friendly super mall where you can let your hair down and not have to worry about the kids. (Leave the heavy duty credit cards behind if you're worried about getting carried away and stick to window shopping for once - most wives will love even that as long as you don't elbow them to hurry along if they're not buying!)
Get the caricature artist there to sketch pictures of the two of you licking waffle cones or funny-flavored pop-corn you'll both think was a bad bet.
Yes, we admit - Neither idea is sophisticated enough to get her into the sack with you, but since that's already been accomplished (we hope?), the laughs shared on such a day should guarantee she's hooked to the fun side of you, preferably for life!
Act like you're seeing her for the first time during your next group get-together! Look often and deep into her eyes. Smile that little smile that gets her wondering whether she's got something between her front teeth or you're just trying out for Anil Kapoor's role as Prem Pratap Patialaywala in Woh Saat Din you remember that Indian film) as you raise that eyebrow crooked enough to keep her wondering!
Then be it a family dinner, colony meal, common car pool day or a friend's wedding, surprise your wife with a spark of romantic chivalry using the convenience of video mobile technology! Target a handy 'good friend' / relative's phone and call them on it, requesting the person to tell your wife it's a call for her. When she answers the phone, give enough time to register confusion and click a series of pictures on your video cell phone - as her bewilderment bursts into a smile - when she discovers it's you on the other end whispering those three little words!
Commit your wife's full-bright face on hearing your semi-public affirmation to print! Your local photo studio will competently provide you with quality hard copies for you to sign, frame and place in your special nook at the home/office for a forever-fun married moment memory!
Don't settle into the same, old, boring pattern of Sundays that blend into Mondays! Keep the romance alive in your marriage by refusing to be satisfied with a mediocre, even unhappy "arrangement" and do things that you can sincerely tag your wife a charming damsel !
If she's the kinds to enjoy a long, leisurely walk on the beach don't waste time and just do it! Take her out for walk in the rain, paddle boating in the winter or simply a good old fashioned walk in the park. It works!
Invite her favorite family members (please remember to keep it to 'favorites' only or this trick will get your goose cooked well and good) or gal-pals over for dinner when you are ready to put forward a surprise declaration of your devotion!
Persuade each guest to hold up a placard or a colored balloon with one word from your message (e.g. You're my blue Italian sky / Thank you for being mine / I love you best by candlelight) in a darkened room lit only by a romatic, floating candles and enjoy the 'aww' moment!
Break away from the predictable you! Let her know the full onslaught of your hitherto hidden talents for spontaneity and allow her to experience the lost passion (or even unawakened) in your marriage so your marriage feels fresh, new and young-hearted besides being thrilling for your wife!
Send her a coffee mug with a mushy quote at work, ask about her day and actually listen to her while you gently rub her shoulders or just stop doing things that are borderline obligatory.
Adopt ways to let your wife feel appreciated, loved and cherished!
This doesn't have to mean grandiose gestures like hiring a limo or spending big bucks to sky-write a message for her over her office (though if it can be done without rocking the EMI for your flat, car and annual holiday, I would say go for it!), but making yourself available for doing the laundry or springing for a package deal at her favorite salon so she feels pampered and still hot enough to wow you into doing this for her!
Or else, you can always leave your wife sexy notes around the house to induce some playful passion into your relationship so she reacts with a giggle and the day ends with a warm, fuzzy feeling for both of you.
If yours was a love marriage, re-create the magic of your first date if that went well or the best elements from it. You can even organize a date around the funny, awkward moments you can now look back and laugh at e.g. popcorn spills at the multiplex, goofy friends at the next café booth, a charms-on-a-chain bracelet to signify she's your “angel “ or heartsease!
Those in an arranged marriage can experience the headiness of setting up a faux blind date. Pick a location you know she likes (ask her best friend or listen when she reminisces while looking at old photos) and arrange to meet there. Try new topics of conversation, swap notes of your personal 20 favorites (songs, books, films, friends, philosophy, childhood memory, holiday spot, gift received etc.) or take the easy option of filling up Slam Books; relive being teens again, especially if you didn't do this at school!
End the day by sipping a sundowner and filing away the little things you didn't know or couldn't remember about each other, which the day's shared activities made you aware of, in your mind and heart!
Ignite the spark of the early days of your marriage once again by shooing the kids away to the best possible babysitting options you have and choose to do anti-aging activities together that will get the blood pumping. Try signing up for a couple's membership at the gym so you shape up and get close too. Or use those tennis/swimming/back to college lessons to bond together outside the bedroom so you become friends and lovers.
Alternately, plan a pleasure trip over the weekend after organizing suitable caregivers for the kids (Grandparents and family friends are better bets than the most well-meaning bachelor buddies coz, um...they'd know that Pringles and Pizzas with tri-colored veggie toppings aren't really balanced meals for one!) that is exotic enough to qualify as a snuggle spot!
Use the trip as a second honeymoon opportunity - use the hotel's spa facilities, splurge a little on the Jacuzzi-attached room or order breakfast in bed (if possible, sneak the room attendant a musical card, Godiva chocolates and any trinket you think would tickle her naughty bone, asking him to bring these up with the breakfast tray) to woo her once again!
Give your marriage a makeover and make it the stuff fairytales are made of or the kind contained in those books she can't seem to get her nose out of!
Do things you haven't ever done: Dial the local radio station or TV music channel to dedicate a song to your wife on a station she listens to or tune that guitar and play her a song that depicts her best qualities or how you feel about her. Alternately, rev up that bike and go for a long ride or spray her a heart on your bathroom mirror with shaving foam!
Bring her a freebie - recommended for all those hubbies whose wives are more impressed when they actually shop sensibly for them instead of just buying the first likely matching product on the given list so they can run right back for that crucial couch-potato act of theirs!
Go places men don't usually go with their wives (though we really can't guarantee she'd appreciate the pole-dancer's finer assets or share your Bud's enthusiasm for trying to out-do your beer 'bottoms up' level during Happy Hours at your favorite pub!) and let her feel she's fun enough to be a part of your secret fantasy life: alcoholic fizz, fatty snacks and loud music with meaningless conversation!
Reduce the shock value of the above suggestion by introducing an element of class - take wifey to the new Lounge Bar in town!
Want another alternative? Check out the child-friendly super mall where you can let your hair down and not have to worry about the kids. (Leave the heavy duty credit cards behind if you're worried about getting carried away and stick to window shopping for once - most wives will love even that as long as you don't elbow them to hurry along if they're not buying!)
Get the caricature artist there to sketch pictures of the two of you licking waffle cones or funny-flavored pop-corn you'll both think was a bad bet.
Yes, we admit - Neither idea is sophisticated enough to get her into the sack with you, but since that's already been accomplished (we hope?), the laughs shared on such a day should guarantee she's hooked to the fun side of you, preferably for life!
Act like you're seeing her for the first time during your next group get-together! Look often and deep into her eyes. Smile that little smile that gets her wondering whether she's got something between her front teeth or you're just trying out for Anil Kapoor's role as Prem Pratap Patialaywala in Woh Saat Din you remember that Indian film) as you raise that eyebrow crooked enough to keep her wondering!
Then be it a family dinner, colony meal, common car pool day or a friend's wedding, surprise your wife with a spark of romantic chivalry using the convenience of video mobile technology! Target a handy 'good friend' / relative's phone and call them on it, requesting the person to tell your wife it's a call for her. When she answers the phone, give enough time to register confusion and click a series of pictures on your video cell phone - as her bewilderment bursts into a smile - when she discovers it's you on the other end whispering those three little words!
Commit your wife's full-bright face on hearing your semi-public affirmation to print! Your local photo studio will competently provide you with quality hard copies for you to sign, frame and place in your special nook at the home/office for a forever-fun married moment memory!
Don't settle into the same, old, boring pattern of Sundays that blend into Mondays! Keep the romance alive in your marriage by refusing to be satisfied with a mediocre, even unhappy "arrangement" and do things that you can sincerely tag your wife a charming damsel !
If she's the kinds to enjoy a long, leisurely walk on the beach don't waste time and just do it! Take her out for walk in the rain, paddle boating in the winter or simply a good old fashioned walk in the park. It works!
Invite her favorite family members (please remember to keep it to 'favorites' only or this trick will get your goose cooked well and good) or gal-pals over for dinner when you are ready to put forward a surprise declaration of your devotion!
Persuade each guest to hold up a placard or a colored balloon with one word from your message (e.g. You're my blue Italian sky / Thank you for being mine / I love you best by candlelight) in a darkened room lit only by a romatic, floating candles and enjoy the 'aww' moment!
Break away from the predictable you! Let her know the full onslaught of your hitherto hidden talents for spontaneity and allow her to experience the lost passion (or even unawakened) in your marriage so your marriage feels fresh, new and young-hearted besides being thrilling for your wife!
Send her a coffee mug with a mushy quote at work, ask about her day and actually listen to her while you gently rub her shoulders or just stop doing things that are borderline obligatory.
Adopt ways to let your wife feel appreciated, loved and cherished!
This doesn't have to mean grandiose gestures like hiring a limo or spending big bucks to sky-write a message for her over her office (though if it can be done without rocking the EMI for your flat, car and annual holiday, I would say go for it!), but making yourself available for doing the laundry or springing for a package deal at her favorite salon so she feels pampered and still hot enough to wow you into doing this for her!
Or else, you can always leave your wife sexy notes around the house to induce some playful passion into your relationship so she reacts with a giggle and the day ends with a warm, fuzzy feeling for both of you.
ten thoughts that worry men about sex
Believe it or not, men worry about performing in the bedroom too. No man would be caught dead admitting that they have any worries or concerns about lovemaking because they fear that somehow it would not be the macho thing to do. But like I said, admit it or not, they do worry about many aspects of sex!
For instance, let's talk about performance anxiety. This is one sex worry that most men have experienced at some point or the other in their lives. Will I be able to satisfy my partner? What if I get so pressured that I can't even get it up? These are just two of the thoughts that they worry about.
In reality, there may not even be a single reason why men need to get their knickers in a knot thinking about sex. But reason or not, if any man is concerned about things related to sex, it will impact his performance in bed – negatively of course!
So, here's a look at the top 10 thoughts that worry men about sex and make them have sleepless nights in more ways than one. And no, we won't just leave you wondering but will also tell you how you can rid yourself of these sex worries.
I masturbate often. Will I become infertile?
This is just one of the few myths associated with masturbation. No, masturbation cannot make you infertile irrespective of how often you do it. It is a very natural way to understand your body and can be quite a healthy habit.
Buying condoms is so embarrassing! I just can't do it.
The fact that you know you need to buy condoms means you're thinking about safe sex and that's a step in the right direction. As for not being able to go and buy some, remember that unsafe sex can lead to many diseases including AIDS which can be fatal. That should give you the confidence you need to buy condoms and keep you and your partner protected.
Will I be able to tell if she is faking it?
If your woman is not really having an orgasm but is faking it, there is very little chance that you'll be able to know. However, instead of being anxious to know whether or not she is faking it, you should be more concerned about making sure she enjoys herself thoroughly. Talk to her about what makes her feel good and what you need to do to help her climax. As long as you're doing what she enjoys, you'll never have to worry about her faking it.
I'm ready but she does not want sex
If your girl is going to feel pressured or forced into having sex when she's not ready, it won't be satisfying for either of you. So, give her the space and understanding she needs and wait till she's ready. The wait may just be well worth it!
My girlfriend is more experienced than me. Will I be able to satisfy her?
Whether or not you can satisfy your partner does not depend on how many people you've had sex with. As long as you both are connected physically and emotionally and her pleasure is as important to you as your own, you should be just fine
She wants to get intimate but I'm not ready.
This is another one of those hard-to-believe things, but men can also feel pressured about having sex when they are not ready to do so. If you're not ready to get intimate for whatever reason, be honest about it. Instead of rejecting you (which is what is worrying you), your partner will respect your honesty and wait till you're ready.
I'm still a virgin but I can never admit that to anyone!
Most men would never admit to their friends or even their woman that they have never had sex purely out of insecurity and their belief that they'd be considered less of a man if people knew that they were virgins. This is why they brag or lie about their sexual exploits. However, being a virgin is not something to feel ashamed or insecure about. In fact, most women would be flattered to know that they are your first, so you should think twice about lying.
I've heard that size does not matter. But I'm sure it does!
You heard right. Size does not matter a great deal as long as you know what you're doing. Being well endowed won't make you a great lover if you don't know how to please your partner. The most sensitive nerves are on the outer part of the vagina so you can please your woman even if you're small. And what you lack in size, why not make up for it with your skill.
Is it ok to make love during her monthly period?
As long as both of you are comfortable having sex during her period, there is no reason why you can't. Yes, it may get a little messy but that's your personal choice. Do make sure you have protected sex so that you do not catch any infections or STDs.
What if I can't get it up when it's time?
Thinking about failing is a sure-fire way to do just that. Be calm and relaxed and enjoy your lovemaking without worrying about your performance. Also, avoid drinking too much alcohol before sex as it can lead to temporary impotence.
For instance, let's talk about performance anxiety. This is one sex worry that most men have experienced at some point or the other in their lives. Will I be able to satisfy my partner? What if I get so pressured that I can't even get it up? These are just two of the thoughts that they worry about.
In reality, there may not even be a single reason why men need to get their knickers in a knot thinking about sex. But reason or not, if any man is concerned about things related to sex, it will impact his performance in bed – negatively of course!
So, here's a look at the top 10 thoughts that worry men about sex and make them have sleepless nights in more ways than one. And no, we won't just leave you wondering but will also tell you how you can rid yourself of these sex worries.
I masturbate often. Will I become infertile?
This is just one of the few myths associated with masturbation. No, masturbation cannot make you infertile irrespective of how often you do it. It is a very natural way to understand your body and can be quite a healthy habit.
Buying condoms is so embarrassing! I just can't do it.
The fact that you know you need to buy condoms means you're thinking about safe sex and that's a step in the right direction. As for not being able to go and buy some, remember that unsafe sex can lead to many diseases including AIDS which can be fatal. That should give you the confidence you need to buy condoms and keep you and your partner protected.
Will I be able to tell if she is faking it?
If your woman is not really having an orgasm but is faking it, there is very little chance that you'll be able to know. However, instead of being anxious to know whether or not she is faking it, you should be more concerned about making sure she enjoys herself thoroughly. Talk to her about what makes her feel good and what you need to do to help her climax. As long as you're doing what she enjoys, you'll never have to worry about her faking it.
I'm ready but she does not want sex
If your girl is going to feel pressured or forced into having sex when she's not ready, it won't be satisfying for either of you. So, give her the space and understanding she needs and wait till she's ready. The wait may just be well worth it!
My girlfriend is more experienced than me. Will I be able to satisfy her?
Whether or not you can satisfy your partner does not depend on how many people you've had sex with. As long as you both are connected physically and emotionally and her pleasure is as important to you as your own, you should be just fine
She wants to get intimate but I'm not ready.
This is another one of those hard-to-believe things, but men can also feel pressured about having sex when they are not ready to do so. If you're not ready to get intimate for whatever reason, be honest about it. Instead of rejecting you (which is what is worrying you), your partner will respect your honesty and wait till you're ready.
I'm still a virgin but I can never admit that to anyone!
Most men would never admit to their friends or even their woman that they have never had sex purely out of insecurity and their belief that they'd be considered less of a man if people knew that they were virgins. This is why they brag or lie about their sexual exploits. However, being a virgin is not something to feel ashamed or insecure about. In fact, most women would be flattered to know that they are your first, so you should think twice about lying.
I've heard that size does not matter. But I'm sure it does!
You heard right. Size does not matter a great deal as long as you know what you're doing. Being well endowed won't make you a great lover if you don't know how to please your partner. The most sensitive nerves are on the outer part of the vagina so you can please your woman even if you're small. And what you lack in size, why not make up for it with your skill.
Is it ok to make love during her monthly period?
As long as both of you are comfortable having sex during her period, there is no reason why you can't. Yes, it may get a little messy but that's your personal choice. Do make sure you have protected sex so that you do not catch any infections or STDs.
What if I can't get it up when it's time?
Thinking about failing is a sure-fire way to do just that. Be calm and relaxed and enjoy your lovemaking without worrying about your performance. Also, avoid drinking too much alcohol before sex as it can lead to temporary impotence.
tips for creating the right atmosphere for lovemaking
1. Paint your bedroom in light colours such as pastels, cream, yellow etc which help you to relax and avoid loud, colours such as red, blue, purple etc.
2. Make sure your bed and mattress are of a good quality so that embarrassing creaks don't ruin the moment.
3. Splurge on silk and satin sheets for the bed.
4. Burn candles to create a special ambience.
5. Hang romantic pictures on the walls. Having one or two erotic sculptures can also do the trick, but go for erotic and not outright pornographic.
6. Keep pictures of kids, parents, or other family members out of the bedroom.
7. Spray a nice, soothing scent in the bedroom to enhance erotic feelings.
8. Create the perfect atmosphere through music that is romantic and passionate.
9. Install mood lighting in your bedroom with the help of dimmer switches, uplights, and downlights.
10. Keep your bedroom clean and free from mess and other things that could provide unnecessary distraction.
2. Make sure your bed and mattress are of a good quality so that embarrassing creaks don't ruin the moment.
3. Splurge on silk and satin sheets for the bed.
4. Burn candles to create a special ambience.
5. Hang romantic pictures on the walls. Having one or two erotic sculptures can also do the trick, but go for erotic and not outright pornographic.
6. Keep pictures of kids, parents, or other family members out of the bedroom.
7. Spray a nice, soothing scent in the bedroom to enhance erotic feelings.
8. Create the perfect atmosphere through music that is romantic and passionate.
9. Install mood lighting in your bedroom with the help of dimmer switches, uplights, and downlights.
10. Keep your bedroom clean and free from mess and other things that could provide unnecessary distraction.
tips for getting in the mood
Ten Tips for Getting In the Mood
1. No matter how busy you are, make the time for sex even if it means scheduling a date with your spouse. Now that's an idea!
2. Exercise in the evening to pump yourself with energy.
3. Try to imagine yourself having the best sex of your life. It actually helps to arouse you.
4. Try something new or risky that you never even considered doing before.
5. Rent an erotic movie to watch with your lover.
6. Read some erotic literature to your partner.
7. Take a bath and slather on some exotic oils or fragrances. Not only does this help to put you in the mood but will also help your partner build his.
8. Naughty and sexy lingerie was created for a purpose. Use it!
9. Hold hands for no reason, kiss your partner and touch them in suggestive ways throughout the day to build up the excitement.
10. To get the mood going like nothing else, initiate sex talk in bed.
1. No matter how busy you are, make the time for sex even if it means scheduling a date with your spouse. Now that's an idea!
2. Exercise in the evening to pump yourself with energy.
3. Try to imagine yourself having the best sex of your life. It actually helps to arouse you.
4. Try something new or risky that you never even considered doing before.
5. Rent an erotic movie to watch with your lover.
6. Read some erotic literature to your partner.
7. Take a bath and slather on some exotic oils or fragrances. Not only does this help to put you in the mood but will also help your partner build his.
8. Naughty and sexy lingerie was created for a purpose. Use it!
9. Hold hands for no reason, kiss your partner and touch them in suggestive ways throughout the day to build up the excitement.
10. To get the mood going like nothing else, initiate sex talk in bed.
tips for getting a good night's rest
Ten Tips for Getting a Good Night's Rest
1. Switch off all the lights in the bedroom, including the night-light. Lighted displays on the radio, music system, or the TV need to go too.
2. Stop working on the computer or watching telly at least an hour before bedtime. Lights from the screen can cause your sleep cycle to be reset and may push forward your sleep time by 2-3 hours.
3. No reading that exciting thriller in bed. You won't be able to sleep if your mind is trying to figure out who the killer is.
4. Similarly, no horror movies at night. You don't want to be kept awake by every little creak or noise in your home!
5. A glass of warm milk is known to do wonders. And no, it's not just grandma's remedy, but milk contains a particular type of amino acid that helps to slow down brain activities, thus inducing sleep.
6. No meals or snacks at least 3 hours before bedtime. If you get hungry, try that glass of warm milk instead.
7. No caffeine or nicotine products close to bedtime. This includes tea, coffee, cold drinks, cigarettes, and other tobacco products. Oh yes…alcohol too!
8. Take a warm bath and use scented oils such as chamomile, vanilla, or lavender in your bath water as they help you to relax.
9. Wearing socks to bed is known to bring restful sleep. The exact reason is unclear, but it works!
10. Early to bed and early to rise keeps a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Well…if early bedtimes and early wakeup times are beyond you, at least try to sleep and get up at the same time each day, no matter what time that is.
1. Switch off all the lights in the bedroom, including the night-light. Lighted displays on the radio, music system, or the TV need to go too.
2. Stop working on the computer or watching telly at least an hour before bedtime. Lights from the screen can cause your sleep cycle to be reset and may push forward your sleep time by 2-3 hours.
3. No reading that exciting thriller in bed. You won't be able to sleep if your mind is trying to figure out who the killer is.
4. Similarly, no horror movies at night. You don't want to be kept awake by every little creak or noise in your home!
5. A glass of warm milk is known to do wonders. And no, it's not just grandma's remedy, but milk contains a particular type of amino acid that helps to slow down brain activities, thus inducing sleep.
6. No meals or snacks at least 3 hours before bedtime. If you get hungry, try that glass of warm milk instead.
7. No caffeine or nicotine products close to bedtime. This includes tea, coffee, cold drinks, cigarettes, and other tobacco products. Oh yes…alcohol too!
8. Take a warm bath and use scented oils such as chamomile, vanilla, or lavender in your bath water as they help you to relax.
9. Wearing socks to bed is known to bring restful sleep. The exact reason is unclear, but it works!
10. Early to bed and early to rise keeps a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Well…if early bedtimes and early wakeup times are beyond you, at least try to sleep and get up at the same time each day, no matter what time that is.
tips for ensuring utmost satisfaction
1. Be gentle with your partner. Harshness has no place in bed.
2. Remember to cut your nails if they are very long. If you end up hurting your partner, not only will it break the mood but your partner may be put off from the whole act altogether.
3. Foods such as chocolate, whipped cream and wine can help to enhance the sensuousness of the moment. Be creative!
4. Ensure that you practice safe sex (using condoms and vaginal dams) so that neither you nor your partner is put at risk for STDs or unplanned pregnancies.
5. As far as lovemaking is concerned, haste does make waste. Take your time exploring your lover and enhance the pleasure for both of you.
6. Make sure that you spend time on foreplay and arouse your partner properly. How much ever time you think is enough, add 10 minutes to it!
7. Love onions and garlic? Well, stay away from such foods when you have a sensual night planned.
8. Ask your partner what they'd like you to do and be their slave in bed, but don't do anything you're really uncomfortable with.
9. Rolling over and going to sleep after lovemaking is for the animals. Cuddle up!
10. No matter what it takes or how much time it takes, ensure that your partner has climaxed. And if you can't tell, just ask!
2. Remember to cut your nails if they are very long. If you end up hurting your partner, not only will it break the mood but your partner may be put off from the whole act altogether.
3. Foods such as chocolate, whipped cream and wine can help to enhance the sensuousness of the moment. Be creative!
4. Ensure that you practice safe sex (using condoms and vaginal dams) so that neither you nor your partner is put at risk for STDs or unplanned pregnancies.
5. As far as lovemaking is concerned, haste does make waste. Take your time exploring your lover and enhance the pleasure for both of you.
6. Make sure that you spend time on foreplay and arouse your partner properly. How much ever time you think is enough, add 10 minutes to it!
7. Love onions and garlic? Well, stay away from such foods when you have a sensual night planned.
8. Ask your partner what they'd like you to do and be their slave in bed, but don't do anything you're really uncomfortable with.
9. Rolling over and going to sleep after lovemaking is for the animals. Cuddle up!
10. No matter what it takes or how much time it takes, ensure that your partner has climaxed. And if you can't tell, just ask!
TEN TIPS FOR LASTING LONGER IN BED
1. If pain or discomfort is making you avoid sex, use lubrication in the form of creams and jellies.
2. Switch off your mobile phone as well as anything else that might cause disturbance and break the mood.
3. Learn to control your breathing through slow regular breaths which will also help to give you added control.
4. Try the stop and start technique. Stop when you're close to a climax, wait a few seconds and start again. With time, you'll find you can go it much longer.
5. Wear a condom as it helps to reduce sensitivity of your genitals, which in turn enables you to hold off for longer.
6. Masturbation is also an excellent way to gain control over your body and can help to extend the time you last in bed.
7. Avoid alcohol before lovemaking as it can cause temporary impotence.
8. Try an anaesthetic gel, which when applied to the genitals helps to reduce sensitivity and can make you last longer.
9. If self-help does not seem to work, consult a doctor to check for medical reasons for premature ejaculation.
10. Viagra. Need we say more!
2. Switch off your mobile phone as well as anything else that might cause disturbance and break the mood.
3. Learn to control your breathing through slow regular breaths which will also help to give you added control.
4. Try the stop and start technique. Stop when you're close to a climax, wait a few seconds and start again. With time, you'll find you can go it much longer.
5. Wear a condom as it helps to reduce sensitivity of your genitals, which in turn enables you to hold off for longer.
6. Masturbation is also an excellent way to gain control over your body and can help to extend the time you last in bed.
7. Avoid alcohol before lovemaking as it can cause temporary impotence.
8. Try an anaesthetic gel, which when applied to the genitals helps to reduce sensitivity and can make you last longer.
9. If self-help does not seem to work, consult a doctor to check for medical reasons for premature ejaculation.
10. Viagra. Need we say more!
Monday, September 22, 2008
how to make a man want to marry you.
I once found myself bang in the middle of a lover's tiff between a good friend of mine and his girlfriend. They had just been on a vacation and both came back more than a little irritated with one another.
It turns out that he didn't like the fact that they spent the better part of their vacation shopping, to which his girlfriend responded that he found plenty of time to look at other women. So how come I was involved in their fight? Well... you guessed it; they had turned to me for advice!
I was hardly the expert when it came to relationships but since they had asked me, this is the gist of what I said to them - "Every relationship (without any exceptions) is going to encounter certain problems. Regardless of the nature of these problems, only two things can happen. Either you will manage to overcome the issues and your relationship will be that much stronger, or the problems will be bigger than what you can handle, in which case you'll probably break up."
Relationship Maker 1: Dependability
The one quality that most women look for in a man is that of dependability. If a woman does not feel that she can count on you, you'll never manage to get her to the wedding mandap. Agreed; the modern woman of today can take care of herself and may not actually need a man to do so, but nevertheless she is still looking for a man who'll be there if and when she does.
What to do: Show your woman that she can count on you to be there for her. Make her realize that you do things for her not just when she asks you too but because you want to. For instance, if she declines your offer to pick her up after work (as her car is in the garage) and tells you she'll just take a cab; surprise her by picking her up. Small things like that go a long way towards cementing a relationship and taking it towards permanency.
Relationship Maker 2: Strength of character
It is all very well to be the strong and caring partner when things are going smooth. But if you can be the same when the chips are down is what matters most. Women are looking for a partner who wants to be in a marriage as much as they do and someone who won't want to call it quits at the first sign of trouble.
What to do: Tell your woman that you're in the relationship for the long haul and take your commitments seriously. If you do face any issues in your relationship, try to sort them out instead of saying things like, "Perhaps we should take a little break and think things through".
Relationship Maker 3: Being able to tickle her funny bone
Ask a bunch of women what they find most irresistible in a man and you're likely to hear this - A great sense of humour. No woman wants to be with a man who takes life way too seriously and doesn't know how to have fun. The perfect combination that women want is a man who takes his responsibilities and commitments seriously, but also has enough of a sense of humour to have fun while doing so!
What to do: Show your woman that you can make her laugh and are also able to laugh at yourself. Be weirdly goofy at times and don't be afraid or embarrassed to act that way. But remember, there is a fine line between being funny and just being plain and simple stupid. So tread that line carefully since no woman wants to be married to Mr. Stupid himself!
It turns out that he didn't like the fact that they spent the better part of their vacation shopping, to which his girlfriend responded that he found plenty of time to look at other women. So how come I was involved in their fight? Well... you guessed it; they had turned to me for advice!
I was hardly the expert when it came to relationships but since they had asked me, this is the gist of what I said to them - "Every relationship (without any exceptions) is going to encounter certain problems. Regardless of the nature of these problems, only two things can happen. Either you will manage to overcome the issues and your relationship will be that much stronger, or the problems will be bigger than what you can handle, in which case you'll probably break up."
Relationship Maker 1: Dependability
The one quality that most women look for in a man is that of dependability. If a woman does not feel that she can count on you, you'll never manage to get her to the wedding mandap. Agreed; the modern woman of today can take care of herself and may not actually need a man to do so, but nevertheless she is still looking for a man who'll be there if and when she does.
What to do: Show your woman that she can count on you to be there for her. Make her realize that you do things for her not just when she asks you too but because you want to. For instance, if she declines your offer to pick her up after work (as her car is in the garage) and tells you she'll just take a cab; surprise her by picking her up. Small things like that go a long way towards cementing a relationship and taking it towards permanency.
Relationship Maker 2: Strength of character
It is all very well to be the strong and caring partner when things are going smooth. But if you can be the same when the chips are down is what matters most. Women are looking for a partner who wants to be in a marriage as much as they do and someone who won't want to call it quits at the first sign of trouble.
What to do: Tell your woman that you're in the relationship for the long haul and take your commitments seriously. If you do face any issues in your relationship, try to sort them out instead of saying things like, "Perhaps we should take a little break and think things through".
Relationship Maker 3: Being able to tickle her funny bone
Ask a bunch of women what they find most irresistible in a man and you're likely to hear this - A great sense of humour. No woman wants to be with a man who takes life way too seriously and doesn't know how to have fun. The perfect combination that women want is a man who takes his responsibilities and commitments seriously, but also has enough of a sense of humour to have fun while doing so!
What to do: Show your woman that you can make her laugh and are also able to laugh at yourself. Be weirdly goofy at times and don't be afraid or embarrassed to act that way. But remember, there is a fine line between being funny and just being plain and simple stupid. So tread that line carefully since no woman wants to be married to Mr. Stupid himself!
Things you should never say to a man
Things you should never say to a woman
You never listen to me!
When you say this to your man, what he's hearing is, "Oh, you mean I don't always do exactly as you say!" Yes, we do have a tendency to say 'never' even if it is just one or two things that our men are not doing. So, instead of saying it like that and getting into the what-do-you-mean-by-never argument, women should stick to the one thing that they are actually talking about.
You're not going to wear THAT are you?
Anytime a woman says this to her man, she is not saying it for him but more for herself because she's probably embarrassed about how her man is looking after wearing that. But obviously your man was GOING to wear that or he wouldn't have put it on! So, either you let your man decide what looks good on him, or if you're really not happy about what he's wearing then politely request him to change.
We can remain friends...
This is perhaps the worst thing any woman can say to a man after she has broken up with him. No! He doesn't want to be just friends with you; he has other people for that. So, if you're going to dump him, please make it a clean break and at least give him the chance to get over you and on with his life, instead of remaining in his life and making it tougher for him.
Are you sure...
You ask a basic question to your man about a topic that you pretty much know nothing about but your man does know a lot. He provides you with a straight and confident reply and you respond with an "are you sure?" That's practically like spitting on your man's ego! So, trust his answers and if you can't, then don't ask the question.
You're like a brother to me
Ladies, no man wants to hear that from any woman unless she really is his sister. You may mean it in the nicest way possible, but most men will take it as an insult and feel that they're not good enough for you and that's why you're putting them in the brother category.
Is it in yet?
Seriously ladies! How cruel do you really have to be to ask your man something like that? That's like the worst thing you can say to your man and once you say it there's no taking it back. If this is a recurring problem with you, perhaps you can say something more tactful like, "Here, let me show you what pleases me most."
Oh my god! You're done so fast?
This is the second worst thing you can say to a man after 'Is it in yet?' All men want to hear that they are sex gods and studs in bed. So, unless you're really looking to hurt the guy you're with, you'll never tell him this.
Here, let me fix that for you
When a woman sees her man struggling with something, she often tries to do the job for him thinking that she's only helping him. However, men take this to mean that you think they are wimps and can't do even the smallest thing right. So, wait for your man to ask for help before going to his rescue!
Honey, size doesn't really matter to us
Yes, it may be true that size does not matter to women, but no matter how often you say that, your man is simply not going to believe you. And the very fact that you said such a thing is proof that you have thought about the size of his penis or wouldn't have brought up the topic!
We need to TALK
The four little magic words that are sure to send any man running for cover. The minute men hear this, their defences are up and they're thinking, "Oh, no! What did I do now?" If you really have something important to discuss, just start talking without telling him that you need to talk!
You never listen to me!
When you say this to your man, what he's hearing is, "Oh, you mean I don't always do exactly as you say!" Yes, we do have a tendency to say 'never' even if it is just one or two things that our men are not doing. So, instead of saying it like that and getting into the what-do-you-mean-by-never argument, women should stick to the one thing that they are actually talking about.
You're not going to wear THAT are you?
Anytime a woman says this to her man, she is not saying it for him but more for herself because she's probably embarrassed about how her man is looking after wearing that. But obviously your man was GOING to wear that or he wouldn't have put it on! So, either you let your man decide what looks good on him, or if you're really not happy about what he's wearing then politely request him to change.
We can remain friends...
This is perhaps the worst thing any woman can say to a man after she has broken up with him. No! He doesn't want to be just friends with you; he has other people for that. So, if you're going to dump him, please make it a clean break and at least give him the chance to get over you and on with his life, instead of remaining in his life and making it tougher for him.
Are you sure...
You ask a basic question to your man about a topic that you pretty much know nothing about but your man does know a lot. He provides you with a straight and confident reply and you respond with an "are you sure?" That's practically like spitting on your man's ego! So, trust his answers and if you can't, then don't ask the question.
You're like a brother to me
Ladies, no man wants to hear that from any woman unless she really is his sister. You may mean it in the nicest way possible, but most men will take it as an insult and feel that they're not good enough for you and that's why you're putting them in the brother category.
Is it in yet?
Seriously ladies! How cruel do you really have to be to ask your man something like that? That's like the worst thing you can say to your man and once you say it there's no taking it back. If this is a recurring problem with you, perhaps you can say something more tactful like, "Here, let me show you what pleases me most."
Oh my god! You're done so fast?
This is the second worst thing you can say to a man after 'Is it in yet?' All men want to hear that they are sex gods and studs in bed. So, unless you're really looking to hurt the guy you're with, you'll never tell him this.
Here, let me fix that for you
When a woman sees her man struggling with something, she often tries to do the job for him thinking that she's only helping him. However, men take this to mean that you think they are wimps and can't do even the smallest thing right. So, wait for your man to ask for help before going to his rescue!
Honey, size doesn't really matter to us
Yes, it may be true that size does not matter to women, but no matter how often you say that, your man is simply not going to believe you. And the very fact that you said such a thing is proof that you have thought about the size of his penis or wouldn't have brought up the topic!
We need to TALK
The four little magic words that are sure to send any man running for cover. The minute men hear this, their defences are up and they're thinking, "Oh, no! What did I do now?" If you really have something important to discuss, just start talking without telling him that you need to talk!
Things you should never say to a woman
Things you should never say to your woman
Figure 1
Why don't you relax!
Ok, so maybe your woman is really upset or freaking out about something. But telling her to relax is going to have the very opposite effect and make her even angrier. Telling your lady to relax somehow denotes that you think she is being crazy and irrational. So, don't tell her to relax but say something like, "I know this is really upsetting so let's discuss it.
"Whatever you decide is ok with me
Don't ever say this to your woman unless you're absolutely fine with whatever she decides. If you're simply going to tell her this to take the decision off your hands but then knock down whatever she decides, then that is nothing but a recipe for disaster.
Example:
She: Where should we go for dinner?
You: Whatever you decide is ok with me.
She: Let's go to the Chinese joint at the mall.
You: Yuck, they don't serve any draught beer!
She: Oh ok. How about the Italian place then?
You: No, no. Too many kids in that place.
She: *What the heck!$%* followed by a 15 minute blah blah blah which you entirely deserve but are still wondering what you did to instigate!
I like a woman with a little meat on her bones
Ok, so maybe you're not trying to say that your woman is fat but genuinely like a woman with a rounder shape, but we still don't want to hear it! Most women are quite touchy about their looks and weight, so please refrain from sharing this little titbit with them.
So, it must be that time of the month, huh?
Just because your woman is emotionally upset, you naturally assume it is 'that time of the month'. Not only is this not true but your assumptions are extremely rude. Yes, PMS may cause some mood swings and your woman may be in some pain, but have you stopped to think that the reason your woman is having an emotional outburst is because you behaved like an ass (yet again) and nothing to do with PMS.
Don't take this the wrong way, but...
The fact that you think whatever you're about to say can be taken in a wrong way should be indication enough that it will be taken in exactly that way. So, either don't say whatever it is you're going to, or at least try and find a better way to say it.
You're behaving just like your mother
If your woman really idealizes her mother, she won't appreciate your saying this as it means that you think her mother behaves crazily too. On the other hand if your lady has some issues with her mother, she'll probably want to kill you for saying she's like her mother. And if you do say this, be prepared to hear something back like, "Better than behaving like yours!"
Are you sure you want to eat that?
If this phrase ever leaves your mouth, be prepared to get the worst stare of your life; something which goes, "I can't believe you just said that!" Maybe your woman is reaching out for that piece of cake which she said she wouldn't do, but she doesn't need you to remind her of it.
Of course, you're never going to admit you are wrong...
Firstly, why should a woman admit she is wrong when she probably isn't? Secondly, perhaps there is no clear cut right or wrong in whatever you're discussing. Maybe it is a matter of a difference of opinion and nothing else. Just because it's not your way does not necessarily mean her way is wrong. So, instead of telling her she is too full of herself to even consider she is wrong, why not agree to disagree and leave it at that?
When are you due?
If the woman you ask this question to is actually pregnant, then fine. But if she's not and she responds with, "I'm not pregnant," or "I already had the baby" then just imagine how mortified you'll be. Your considerate curiosity can turn out to be very offensive indeed. So, never ask a woman this question unless she tells you that she is indeed pregnant.
I love you
Surprised to find this one in a list of things you should NEVER say to a woman? Well... I love you should be said only if you sincerely mean it from the bottom of your heart. It should never be said just because you think your woman wants to hear it or because you want to end a fight by saying that. If your woman realizes that you're anything less than 100% sincere when you say 'I love you' to her, there will be hell to pay!
Figure 1
Why don't you relax!
Ok, so maybe your woman is really upset or freaking out about something. But telling her to relax is going to have the very opposite effect and make her even angrier. Telling your lady to relax somehow denotes that you think she is being crazy and irrational. So, don't tell her to relax but say something like, "I know this is really upsetting so let's discuss it.
"Whatever you decide is ok with me
Don't ever say this to your woman unless you're absolutely fine with whatever she decides. If you're simply going to tell her this to take the decision off your hands but then knock down whatever she decides, then that is nothing but a recipe for disaster.
Example:
She: Where should we go for dinner?
You: Whatever you decide is ok with me.
She: Let's go to the Chinese joint at the mall.
You: Yuck, they don't serve any draught beer!
She: Oh ok. How about the Italian place then?
You: No, no. Too many kids in that place.
She: *What the heck!$%* followed by a 15 minute blah blah blah which you entirely deserve but are still wondering what you did to instigate!
I like a woman with a little meat on her bones
Ok, so maybe you're not trying to say that your woman is fat but genuinely like a woman with a rounder shape, but we still don't want to hear it! Most women are quite touchy about their looks and weight, so please refrain from sharing this little titbit with them.
So, it must be that time of the month, huh?
Just because your woman is emotionally upset, you naturally assume it is 'that time of the month'. Not only is this not true but your assumptions are extremely rude. Yes, PMS may cause some mood swings and your woman may be in some pain, but have you stopped to think that the reason your woman is having an emotional outburst is because you behaved like an ass (yet again) and nothing to do with PMS.
Don't take this the wrong way, but...
The fact that you think whatever you're about to say can be taken in a wrong way should be indication enough that it will be taken in exactly that way. So, either don't say whatever it is you're going to, or at least try and find a better way to say it.
You're behaving just like your mother
If your woman really idealizes her mother, she won't appreciate your saying this as it means that you think her mother behaves crazily too. On the other hand if your lady has some issues with her mother, she'll probably want to kill you for saying she's like her mother. And if you do say this, be prepared to hear something back like, "Better than behaving like yours!"
Are you sure you want to eat that?
If this phrase ever leaves your mouth, be prepared to get the worst stare of your life; something which goes, "I can't believe you just said that!" Maybe your woman is reaching out for that piece of cake which she said she wouldn't do, but she doesn't need you to remind her of it.
Of course, you're never going to admit you are wrong...
Firstly, why should a woman admit she is wrong when she probably isn't? Secondly, perhaps there is no clear cut right or wrong in whatever you're discussing. Maybe it is a matter of a difference of opinion and nothing else. Just because it's not your way does not necessarily mean her way is wrong. So, instead of telling her she is too full of herself to even consider she is wrong, why not agree to disagree and leave it at that?
When are you due?
If the woman you ask this question to is actually pregnant, then fine. But if she's not and she responds with, "I'm not pregnant," or "I already had the baby" then just imagine how mortified you'll be. Your considerate curiosity can turn out to be very offensive indeed. So, never ask a woman this question unless she tells you that she is indeed pregnant.
I love you
Surprised to find this one in a list of things you should NEVER say to a woman? Well... I love you should be said only if you sincerely mean it from the bottom of your heart. It should never be said just because you think your woman wants to hear it or because you want to end a fight by saying that. If your woman realizes that you're anything less than 100% sincere when you say 'I love you' to her, there will be hell to pay!
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