Is it possible to love two people at once

All of us have grown up with our own ideas about love, whatever they may be. While the word 'love' may mean passion and romance for you, it could mean something else (trust, dependability, compromise, sacrifice) for me entirely. Individual differences notwithstanding, it is quite fair to say that most of us have grown up with the idea that love has to be confined to a single person and that we can only truly love one person at a time. Right? Well... I beg to differ.

While the idea of one true love is what most of us grew up with, now I feel that this idea is one of the many myths of life. The truth, as I see it, is that it is entirely possible for someone to love two people at the same time, and love them with the same intensity!

So why won't we allow ourselves to admit that?

How about this for an answer - because the mere possibility that our love can encompass more than one person at the same time is just too scary to even think of, let alone do it. Imagine the confusion that would cause, not just in your head but also in your life. And because you won't be able to possibly live in such a confusing state of mind, you simply disallow yourself to even entertain the idea of loving two people at once!

But, don't you think your heart has a lot more capacity to love others than you actually give it credit for? Or is it that we don't want to recognize our hearts' ability for affection, simply because it would require a very brave person to do so?

Some of us would say, "Love is unique and one-of-a-kind. So, if anyone thinks they love two people at once, then that person is very confused and doesn't really love either of those people."

But then how do you explain that all of us already love so many people at once. For example, you love your spouse or partner, while at the same time you really love your children, your parents, your siblings. Agreed that your love for all the various people in your life is of a different kind, and that you love each person for their special qualities. But going by that same logic, is it not possible to romantically love two people at the same time if both those people offer you completely different things?

If any of you have watched Brooke Logan (from the serial The Bold and The Beautiful) constantly be tormented by her love for two special men in her life, namely Ridge and Nick, then you'd know what I was referring to. And for those of you who don't, this is how it goes.

Brooke believes that Ridge is her destiny and has been in love with him for most of her adult life. She loves him because he's extremely passionate, romantic, soulful, and because he makes her heart sing like no one else. Then there's Nick, someone Brooke loves because of his innate loyalty, because he is as dependable as a rock, totally smitten with Brooke, and because he brings out all that is good in her. She loves and wants both these men!

Impossible? I wouldn't say so.

But extremely impractical? Of course!

This is where our idea about being able to love only one person at a time raises its head, which forces us to look into our hearts and choose the 'one true love' of our lives so that we can end the misery!

Being with two people at the same time...

While I do believe that loving two people at once is possible, I also believe that being with both of them is not. Recognizing that you have romantic feelings for two people is one thing, but acting on those feelings is quite another. So what do you do in such a situation? Well... you make your choices and be happy with them.

What if you realize that you're still in love with someone after you've made your choice and are committed to another? For instance, you're happily married to your spouse and really love him / her but seeing your old boyfriend / girlfriend from college after all those years still made your heart skip!
n that case, the first thing you need to do is not be scandalized by your own reaction. No, you're not a 'bad' person for feeling what you feel, nor is your marriage a sham. Your reaction just suggests that you still hold a very special place in your heart for someone you loved at one time in life, and will probably do so forever. But you've now moved on and love your spouse and life's great!

So really, being in love with two people at once is not where the problem lies. The sixty-four million dollar question is, "Can you be happy with simply recognizing that your love can extend to two people at the same time, or do you feel compelled to act on that love and get involved with both!"